Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Lost Childhood!

As a teacher in a public school system I often wonder about our society, what it values and it's impact on our children. It seems to me that too many kids today are not allowed to be children. Too many are not getting their basic life needs met. They are driven away from their basic qualities of spontaneous play and youthful vitality towards the goals of our society's desires driven largely by capitalism! Those goals seem to be to control and educate to remove unpredictability. (All text in italics are from Dark Nights of the Soul) This process can do much to inhibit the creative child not only in childhood but in adulthood as well! Thomas Moore says this about our repression of the child....

We repress the child by forcing children into religious and character building camps, by excluding them from social life, by containing them in poorly equipped and dispiriting schools, and by demanding that they grow up quickly through extra lessons and limits on play, and by surrendering them to too many au pairs and babysitters. In repressing the child, we keep the troubling human soul and specifically it's child qualities away from adult pursuits.

I remember studying Karl Marx in Philosophy class in college! I was fascinated that he wrote in the Manifesto about how he believed that man was innately creative and that capitalism and it's drive to mass produce and compete (the mechanized assembly line) would eventually be the downfall of capitalism. The man fastening the same part on the car on the assembly line over and over again would have no creative input and thus be dispirited! (Never mind that men and women would be replaced by robots.) I think, in this age of high stakes testing of our kids in schools we seem to be treating children much like a car on an assembly line. We feel that if we extend the academic day, make then all dress alike, (my school system is toying with a very strict dress code akin to a uniform) and teach them more, faster without play time they will better be able to help us compete with other countries! We even have a PACING GUIDE to make sure we teach what we need to teach fast enough to cover it all. Where is the joy in that. In fact, it seems to me that the harder we push these children whose basic needs have not been met the more they rebel and push back!

Just to emphasize where our priorities are in our capitalistic culture, the government stimulus plan includes millions and millions of dollars to bail out greedy corporations and banks while schools grapple with cuts to programs and loss of teaching positions. But no matter where each kid is in life, they had better meet those test score requirements. Oh yes, and how about all those needy kids in a school of over 750 with one school adjustment counselor. We are concerned with just the brain (well sort of) and not the heart and soul! I saw a great bumper sticker that said something like this...What if schools had all the money they needed and the air force had to have a bake sale to buy the planes they need.

Thomas Moore writes prolifically about the child and it's connection to creativity. We are coercing many children too soon into adulthood and their creative essence defined as vitality, spontaneity and joy are lost.

"Many people live in emotional darkness because they have never fully enjoyed a child spirit in their overly serious lives."

He is trying to tell us that the child plays an important , but not exclusive role in living a creative life! Perhaps Michael Jackson in the ultimate representation of the lost child struggling to come to grips with a dark night of the soul.

"...that somehow we have to resurrect the childhood spirit in a way that is fully compatible with a mature, adult life." Maybe this is what Jackson was struggling with. "He was like an old person trying too hard to look young instead of aging gracefully with youthful spirit! "

There was clearly a massive tension in Michael's life, a tension beyond our understanding because his life was always so much larger than life and probably a life long dark night! His dark night produced brilliant art and at the same time his search and suffering became an obsession. He was in a dark night trying to reconnect with his childhood but in that search he became stuck in that phase of his history rather than finding a balance that would let him fully realize his adult potential. Michael lost his battle...but many fail to realize he did fight to try to succeed. If he didn't struggle he would have never been able to produce his music and do the charitable work that did make a difference. Most of us would rather avoid conflict, while Michael lived it and yes it produced brilliant music and dance and sadly painful preoccupations. Can't we pause for a moment, put our own discomfort aside long enough to see the bigger picture!

The big picture for me is that we are creating the most distressed and disconnected generation of kids ever. I know it is a stretch to connect Jackson's life to today's' children because the stage is so much more grandiose and almost surreal but maybe Michael Jackson's legacy can be a warning to us to embrace children and our child like quality that the Zen master calls "beginners mind," the spirit of the child who is relatively free of cultural contamination. So we can embrace all of ourselves, the good, the bad....if you are going to be creative, you must live the whole story. You have to take the dark nights with the brilliant successes. You have to endure criticism and failure.

Michael sang about his Dark Night on the Cd entitled HIStory...



Tears for Fears made the best CD about childhood trauma and it is one of my favorites. As an adult child and first born child, I knew the pressure of being adult way too soon! I'll post this song for all children (and adults)!

Monday, June 29, 2009

EARTH SONG!

I'll just let this video speak to you in whatever way you feel moved!

Be sure to view the credits at the end.


Sunday, June 28, 2009

A SERVICE OF SURPRISE!

Just like life today's church service at The First Church of Christ on Park Square was both enlightening and surprising. I certainly experienced what was honestly, and I mean truly honestly, the most touching moment I have ever experienced in a Sunday church service. Rev. James (R.J.) ending his sermon titled, "Taking Ourselves More Lightly..." with a touching and heartfelt acoustic version of Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror. He explained and I realize that Michael was a broken and in some ways a twisted human being. But at the same time he was at times able to rise above that brokenness and thrill us with his art and bring joy to millions. What a surprise to hear such words and experience such a heartfelt piece of contemporary music in a church service. I could barely contain my emotions!

Here is a piece of today's sermon to give the essence of the message....

There seems to be a connection between humility and wholeness and I have come to believe that humor is one of the best ways we can cultivate and nourish a holy humility in our ordinary lives. Not only does gentle humor turn the tables on our culture of cynicism, bringing us closer to joy, hope and trust, it does so in a way that is festive and satisfying.

With these words in mind, a wonderful congregation member stood up and played a song he wrote for a class that was supposed to be humorous! It was fun as the rest of the congregation was invited to sing a part! Just another surprise in a church service that felt more like joyous life than mundane dogma that does nothing to enlighten the soul! Today's service gave me a lift. I left feeling better than when I went in! Yes, I am still grappling with a hand that life has dealt me, but on this day my church made a difference! Then there was the beautiful song performed by Dianne and Jenna! BEAUTIFUL! If you would like to experience this kind of spiritual light please join me some Sunday at 10:30! My blog has a link to the church web site.

ALL I CAN SAY NOW IS THANK YOU.....For a church where after being seated I never know what aesthetic wonder may envelop my senses. Today was truly a Service of Surprise!

One more rendition of Man in the Mirror!





I love this song of off HIStory...look at the amazing dance moves!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

TEACHER OF THE YEAR!


Back in 2005 Vicki was named Wal Mart Teacher of the Year and after rereading Vicki's memorial service notes on Rev. Lumsden's Blog, I thought again about Vicki and her desire to do good without fanfare and attention to herself. In fact, Rev. Lumsden's blog has several recent posts on humility and Vicki was certainly a humble servant of GOD! RJ, (Rev. James) starts his notes for this Sunday's sermon titled, "Taking Ourselves More Lightly.", with the following quote, "The Roman Catholic theologian, G.K. Chesterton, once said that the “reason angels can fly is because… they take themselves so lightly.” Vicki truly did fly and yes she was an angel. In fact, ironically RJ said this in his spoken tribute to Vicki during her memorial service last December....

"The prophet Isaiah told the people of Israel living in exile that God would send them angels to bring them comfort and peace – Vicki was one of those angels, I think, she certainly was to me. And I think she was to her school and her family and her church. She knew how important it was to quietly and consistently bring comfort to those who needed it the most – and her testimony has a lot to teach us who remain about how the words of God become flesh."

What has really stirred me today is the irony in the connections between Vicki, her memorial service, RJ's new sermon, and Vicki's handling of her teacher of the Year Award! She seemed almost embarrassed by the attention. She spoke to me about it and I tried to convince her that it was a good thing and attention she deserved. I don't actually think she thought she was undeserving of the award. I just think she was, as always, uncomfortable with the attention paid to her. She just enjoyed doing what she loved and making a difference without fanfare.

Not long after Vicki died I had the most difficult task of having to go to Vicki's classroom to get her stuff! I was grateful that her best friend and fellow teacher Cathy, was there to help me. Thank you again, Cathy! I'll tell you, after twenty plus years she had lots of stuff! I hated dismantling this part of her life, but I have saved every bit of it and sometime soon it will be comforting to go through again. I pondered the whereabouts of that plaque and you can see at the top of my blog. I certainly wanted it, but thought it was probably at home in a closet or other important memory storage spot. But NO, I found it wrapped in the blue apron Vicki is wearing in the photos on this blog from that day, stuffed into the middle of a giant cabinet filled with art supplies in her classroom. Just stuffed in there like it really didn't matter! Well, that plaque is here in my home and it is an honor and tribute that she deserves for her service to humanity, for her quiet and kind approach to living every minute of her life, for always looking for a way to help instead of a way to say no, for always transcending herself in the interest of others, for never, ever being selfish, and simply because she was, and is an angel. I am blessed to have been in her life and can only hope to be a fraction of what she was in her her short but fulfilling life!

One last Quote that I found after Vicki died and just seemed like her talking to me!



"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Vicki's Memorial Service

I have had a few people ask about Vicki's memorial service and so I am going to provide a link in this post to Rev. James Lumsden's notes on his blog. I can only tell you that I couldn't have heard a more acurate, heartfelt and reality filled testimony to Vicki and her life! I am including the link to the post rather than coping and pasting the entire work in my blog!

http://rj-whenlovecomestotown.blogspot.com/2008/12/saying-good-bye-to-vicki.html

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Man in the Mirror


A late afternoon I won't forget took place today. Sitting with a friend talking, ironically about music and life and out of the corner of my eye I see a BREAKING NEWS story about Michael Jackson suffering a cardiac arrest and soon after the announcement that he in fact was dead. We were both in shock and for moments silent. The fun conversation lost it's momentum and turned to sadness for a while before we began to speak about Michael and how amazing he was as an entertainer. I loved his music and when he danced I was simply in awe! Hearing Thriller for the first time and Eddie Van Halen playing that killer guitar on Beat It just sent me into a musical nirvana! Yes, like a lot of us, but in a much more public and sad way, Michael was broken deep inside and we may never understand the reasons why. In spite of his brokenness, he brought joy and excitement to millions through his art. I certainly will continue to listen in awe and I pray that his legacy will allow the good stuff to rise to the top and let his soul rest in peace! This live video says it all!



This was always one of my my favorite songs from the album Off The Wall...



I am not ashamed to say that as I posted this last video I cried! I am sure this death scratches up against my own loss! Micheal's art will reverberate it's beat throughout the universe forever!

One more song....

Monday, June 22, 2009

23rd Wedding Anniversary! JUNE 22, 1986

Vicki and I were married 23 years ago today, so Bailey and I went out to dinner. One year ago the three of us went out together and enjoyed a fun dinner to celebrate! (Oh yes, Bailey gets his surgery tomorrow morning at 7:30 a.m.) We picked the band that played at our wedding reception because they could play Talking Heads songs and while Vicki never cared much for them, they were, and are one my favorite groups ....They played this song especially for us that day 23 years ago!



I also want to post a Paula Cole song because Vicki loved her voice and loved many of her songs! I bought Vicki her latest CD, COURAGE, last summer and this is one of my favorite songs and expresses lots of real feeling for me today and every day that Vicki is gone! Vicki also commented that she thought our minister's wife Dianne sounded a lot like Paula and I have to agree! Her comment to Dianne really sticks in my head from the last week of Vicki's life. I uploaded this song to You Tube using a Christmas picture of our front hallway looking festive with holiday lighting and candles!



Today, just like Father's Day yesterday are difficult thresholds to cross on this journey into a completely new life.