Saturday, November 21, 2009

Letting GO

I would really like to be writing on this blog more, but while I think it is going well, school is extremely demanding. I have to admit that my mind continues to be flooded with memories of a year ago. Most of these memories are about the hospital and are difficult and sad! In fact, Bailey and I went to his orthopaedic surgeon yesterday to check his arm out and schedule his next surgery to remove the hardware. We were right next to the hospital and I thought about Vicki's last surgery and just how scared I was for her! My heart knew things were not well at all! The date for Bailey's surgery is set tentatively for Friday January 15. His arm has healed well, although one of the two bones does have a curve to it, which is causing no harm! The Doctor said the curve is probably caused by the impact of his fall! He is thrilled with this date because he can play his part in the school winter concert the week before! He was funny because I heard him talking to a friend on the phone and he called himself the luckiest person in the world because he will be able to perform that night!

I also received the Hospice mailing that discusses "the hurdle" of the first anniversary of the loss of a loved one! It advises having a plan for the day and seeking support since one can never really know what the reaction to the day will be! The letter also contained a poem as usual and I want to post it here!

Letting GO not to deny, but to accept. not to nag, scold or argue, but instead
to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. to fear less and love more.

...does not mean to stop caring for my loved one;
it means I can't live for them. to be able to admit powerlessness,
which means sometimes outcomes are not in my hands. to allow myself to learn from natural consequences. not to change or blame my loved one,
but to make the most of myself.

IS not to judge,
but to see mistakes as a part of learning and of being human.

I like to follow my instincts and this is the song that popped into my head after typing the poem above...

I loved Dan Fogelberg when I was younger and ironically he passed away December 16, 2007 at the age of 56 from prostate cancer. When I went to You Tube to get this video I read some of the comments and this is one of them.....

I just found out Fogelberg died because I looked up this song--man, that's too bad. It's too bad because, I believe, Earth loses a lot of love and positive energy when we lose people like Fogelberg.

I think people deep in their souls recognize the spiritual value of the arts and especially music and poetry which somehow make life more visible, clear, and comprehensive. I posted the link to Fogelberg's is very profound!

One last song!

1 comment:

  1. this is very beautiful and very real... maybe we might spend time together after church on the 6th - or earlier or later in the week - if that would feel right?