Little Star and Tears of Sadness and JOY!

Pictures and video provide so many precious memories and you know that when you take them you are preserving a moment for the future. Of course, I never dreamed that future would come so soon when Vicki died in December! I watch some video and have begun to look at some pictures, and of course, I have cried many tears. But again, I want to say these tears are expressions of pain indeed, but that pain is a reminder that we loved so very deeply! God's love and JOY exist even in that pain. For those that don't think the JOY of Christ exists today in this life and time are wrong! If they open their hearts and minds they could see and feel it too, even in some very dark times. It isn't always evident. We may not always be ready to feel it but it is there.

Bailey, my son was extremely close to his mother. He was her star and I always so admired the strength and passion that Vicki nurtured Bailey with. Without her.........things would have been so very different! As I was saying, some pictures go right to the depths of my soul and pull out tears that cannot be contained. The picture I am posting here shows Bailey at about 2 years old being hugged by Vicki. I don't remember exactly, but he had either fallen and hurt himself or was just exhausted and burnt out from a day of fun. The picture just emanates love and nurturing as she wraps herself around him. The Following song by Madonna is one that I would imagine Vicki would sing to him. I have always loved this song written by Madonna for her daughter!


Bailey is beginning to let his feelings out about losing his mother! It breaks my heart when it happens but at the same time I am grateful that in his own way and at his own pace he is allowing himself to feel.

Just a quick funny story...Bailey was always keenly aware of where his mom was and one afternoon (he was about 5 years old) he was downstairs and Vicki was upstairs. He lost track of where she was and yelled, "MOMMY! WHERE ARE YOU?" Vicki yelled from upstairs, "I'm at Walmart!" Bailey hearing her voice, but believing her, began to cry thinking she had gone without him! We both started laughing hysterically. but Vicki was sure to rush downstairs to hug him and reassure him! From that point on for the rest of Vicki's life whenever Bailey asked where she was was, I'd say, "Walmart!" I sure do wish that is where she was right now!